5-16-2012
LOUNGE LIZARDS -- According to a recent survey
conducted by Hart Research Associates and The Winston Group, airline travelers
are more dissatisfied with flying than ever before, with a whopping 48% of
frequent fliers angry at the carriers.
They resent the airlines changing the rules as they go along making the
accumulation of free miles more and more difficult. For instance,
Southwest now refuses to qualify a flight for credit unless the passenger can
accurately recall how many Margaritas the pilot drank before it began.
NEW IN TOWN,
SAILOR? -- HDNet has debuted a new reality show featuring Nevada's notorious
"Mustang Ranch" titled “Mustang Ranch: Labor of Love.” The producers have tried something a little
different, hoping to create a unique series incorporating elements of
"Survivor" and "The View." Johns won't be allowed to
pick a girl unless he can convince a tribal council that he deserves her and
even then he must survive an hour locked in a sealed room with four hookers discussing
whether Obama or Romney would be better for women.
IF THE
COLLAR FITS -- Twenty-four year old Craig Dershowitz has blown through his life
savings prosecuting his ex-girlfriend, Sarah Brega, whom he has accused of
“kidnapping” his half beagle, half pug, “Knuckles.” In legal documents filed with the State
Supreme Court in Manhattan, Craig claims Sarah ran off with his dog and fled to
California out of spite. While his legal
fees mount, Craig is so desperate he even appealed to his namesake (no
relation) Harvard professor, Alan Dershowitz who refused to help unless Craig
wanted him to prove that Knuckles had nothing to do with the murder of Nicole Brown-Simpson.
FRENCH POST
CARDS? --Former C.I.A. spy Hank Crampton who served as Deputy Director of the
Agency’s Counter Terrorism Center, told Lara Logan on 60 Minutes that there are
more foreign spies on U.S. soil today than at the height of the Cold War. He also disclosed that he “… never met a
North Korean government official who couldn’t be bribed with pornography.” Life is full of surprises,
isn’t it? Who would have dreamed that
naming Charlie Sheen Ambassador to North Korea might be our only hope of
keeping them from lobbing a nuke at us?
UNSASHED -- Red-faced organizers of the
Miss World Contest were forced by their own rules to dethrone Miss Fiji after
it was disclosed that Torika Watters was only sixteen. They transferred the crown to Koini
Vakaloloma, the 24-year old first runner-up who will vie for the world prize in
Inner Mongolia, China in August.
According to the Australian Broadcasting Corp., the judges decided to
take another peek at Torika’s application after she told them her dream was to
find a cure for cancer, stamp out famine in Ethiopia and be asked to the Senior
Prom by the captain of the football team.
Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills All Rights Reserved
